Today is Gretchen Sackett's Birthday and it is a year since I took the ashes of our 5 cats and Gretchen's ashes to Carmel to spread them where she asked me to lay them all to rest in the event she did not survive her Cancer.
This morning I chose to sleep in late, I arrived in New York City last night to see friends and then on November 2nd to bring "The Art of Active Networking" back to the Big Apple!
I had a dream early morning around 9am I guess. I was in the woods with people, don't remember who. We needed to get up to a cabin/building to escape something dangerous and we had only one chance. Anyway, we took the chance and made it to the top of this tram/train track, I was one of the first to leap from this tram to make it over this rushing water to make sure it could be done safely. I figured I was in the worst shape, and if I could do it everyone else could.
When I made it, I walked over to the steps of a cabin right in front of us, there was a pile of mail on the top step. In the mail was a large cool beautiful Grey envelope about 10x10 inches, it had Gretchen's handwriting on it and another thing with her writing attached to it that also from her. It was as if it came through some bizarre mail system where she sent it from her to me, it had no postage but was clearly from her. It was over the top special and beautiful as all her packages were.
When I opened it, there was a typed message inside from Gretchen. It said, "Mark, I wanted you to have this. I always loved you and still do." I don't remember part of it exactly now, but in the dream, I perfectly read the entire paragraph out loud. She basically told me to '...keep going, that she was proud of me and that I had always done the right thing and always would.' She also said, "You know what you need to do, and don't worry."
She got this to me somehow in this remote stack of mail in this remote and unexpected space, and it came for my Birthday in September and was waiting at this place for me since September 9th, tossed on the steps surrounded by fallen leaves and in perfect condition. As always her handwriting was beautiful and it was wrapped in pure unconditional love and kindness. Anyone who ever received a gift from Gretchen knows just how much effort she put into wrapping and preparing even the simplest of gifts. Her talent at wrapping was the gift!
I'm sitting in a New York City hotel room this morning writing this down because it was so vivid, so clear and so healing for me and some things I am struggling with right now, and because I never want to forget how it felt in my dream to hear from her again.
Happy Birthday Gretchen!
And thank you. As always you are still supporting and loving me. I miss you so much, we all do!